Tuesday, 20 August 2013

i can't sleep even i try

how to i start of my story. okay here we go, when someone cannot sleep there are many reason that we can take. for such example we really in hurt or really in good mood. In my situation,.. i am dont know.. i am really fuck myself. Today iam just wake up every morning like other. But today i am just wake up at 10.00 am because i dont have any class for today. i try studying but it just work out. i try for claim myself, it just dont make any sense.my lover just make me piss me out. like problem never be solve. try to get in her but still not work out. i dont know.just.. dont know. Why?? i am still contact with her like everyday but just keep told me; i dont want to disturb your time. Look this, even i really busy, i must told you rite?
ahh, forget about her, i am really upset, happy and such being alone. many think make my brain spin like 1000 rpm spindle.Firstly i think. how can i get really life after 5 years or 10 years from now? Secondly,can i get a real job?. Real life, it really means to anyone right? even also the job?. Allah please save me and make a smooth path for me and my family.

Thursday, 18 April 2013

Burung

bermula disaat kecil sebagai sehelai kertas yang kosong,
tidak tahu apa perbeza gula dan garam,
hari melihat aku tanpa rasa curiga,
kerana dia tahu aku gologan yang miskin,
aku cahaya di siang dan padam apabila malam,
burung tetap beterbangan di dalam lautan tanah,

tetapi setelah peringkat usia memamah kulit,
kelibat serangga perosak meghisap cairan otak yang merah,
aku menjadi air mendidih,
panas,
panas,
panas,
hari pertama di jalani dengan tenang,
seterusnya takungan air melimpah tidak dapat menahan jeritan syaitan yang bergulamang,
alpa dan terus alpa,
dunia dan terus dunia,
aku rosak sekian,
tiada cahaya di siang hari dan padam di malam hari,
kereta rosak berpinar cahaya itu,
hanya menuggu jerusan kerbau memamah nyawa,
maafkan aku,
maafkan aku,
burung tiada lagi siulan air,
tapi pasir yang panas menjadi perganti.

cecair diri

mulut berbuih menunjuk putih,
tangan berpatah menunjuk jalan,
mata berpinar menunjuk kasih,
suara berputar menunjuk alunan,

daya badan tidak dapat menahan.
hari-hari kecundang dalam lubang yang.
tahu batas badan.

jangan ingkar,
jangan sedih,
jangan patah,

kerana dia tahu batas mu.
tapi mu tetap pendirian mu.
cecair diri mu ialah kedegilan.